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张培基英译散文赏析之《话说短文》

话说短文A Chat about Short Essays
冰心Bing Xin
| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选一》

也许是我的精、气、神都不足吧,不但自己写不出长的东西,人读一本刊物时,也总是先挑短的看,不论是小说、散文或是其他的文学形式,最后才看长的。
Perhaps due to my failing energies, not only have I refrained from writing anything long, but also, in reading a magazine, for example, I usually finish its shorter pieces of writing first, be they fiction, prose or any other forms of literature, before going on to the longer ones.
要点:
1,“也许是我的精、气、神都不足吧”译为Perhaps due to my failing energies,注意这里的精气神可不是游戏里的辣个(⊙﹏⊙)b,它的意思是“身体和精神上的能量”,也可译为mental and physical energy,但都不如energy显得简洁俏皮~
2,fail表示“视力,健康,记忆上的衰退”,之前在《中年人的寂寞》中我们也见到过~“眼睛昏花了,记忆力减退了”译为my eyesight and memory failing
3,“不但自己写不出长的东西…”用not only句式,译为not only have I refrained from writing anything long,其中“写不出”=refrain from~表示受到客观限制不能做某事
4,“不论是小说、散文或是其他的文学形式”前方高能~~ 注意啦!!!这里出现了表“无论”的新用法,“无论A还是B”译为 be+代词+ A or B,如“香酥鸡,肯德基,道口烧鸡,大同小异”=Chickens are chickens ,be it Fried Crisp Chicken, KFC Chicken or Red-cooked Chicken.学了好多菜名吧~~~O(∩_∩)O
5,本段中“看”出现了2次,分别用了finish/going on the writing表示“读完/继续读”,都没有用look或是see哦

综述:这一段虽然很短,但是里面的信息量很大,译得简洁并不容易


我总觉得,凡是为了非倾吐不可而写的作品,都是充满了真情实感的。反之,只是为写作而写作,如上之为应付编辑朋友,一之为多拿稿费,这类文章大都是尽量地往长里写,结果是即便的一点点的感情,也被冲洗到水分太多、淡而无味的地步。
I always believe that anything written with an irresistible inner urge to unbosom oneself must be full of genuine feelings. On the contrary, if one writes simply for the sake of writing—say, to humor one’s editor friends, or worse still, to earn more remuneration, one will most probably make his writings unnecessarily long until they become, despite what little feeling they may contain, inflated and wishy-washy.
要点:
1,“凡是为了非倾吐不可而写的作品”译为anything written with an irresistible inner urge to unbosom oneself,其中urge意为“冲动,强烈的欲望,unbosom译为“表露心迹,吐露心声”(bosom有胸襟,胸怀之意)
2,“为写作而写作”译为if one writes simply for the sake of writing,此处又出现了for sake of表示“为了”~
3,“只是为写作而写作,如上之为应付编辑朋友,一之为多拿稿费,这类文章大都是尽量地往长里写,结果是即便的一点点的感情,也被冲洗到水分太多、淡而无味的地步。”这句话并没有一个明确的主语~需要我们找找找,通过分析可以发现,几个分句动作的发出者都是“写作品的人”译文用one(指代写作品的人)做主语,成功串起了整个一句话~
4,“如”即“比如说”,译为say,英语中举例时常会用say 这个词
5,“为应付编辑朋友”意为“迁就…的要求”因此译为humor(迎合,迁就)如:For the kinder among us did not wish to fret the master , we humoured his partiality .
(因为我们中间比较心慈的人并不愿惹主人生气,所以我们就迎合他的偏爱。)表示同样含义的还有cater for/to, accommodate, play up to~

6,“结果是即便的一点点的感情,也被冲洗到水分太多、淡而无味的地步”中“结果”又用了until表示,这个用法在《艰难的国运与雄健的国民》中也出现过哦~这个句子的特别之处在于句中同时有“结果”和“即使”两个状语成分,译者翻译时将后者译为了插入语~

综述:又是信息量大大滴一段,都是重点都是重点!!


当由一个人物,一桩事迹,一幅画面而发生的真情实感,向你袭来的时候,它就像一根扎到你心尖上的长针,一阵卷到你面前的怒潮,你只能用最真切、最简练的文字,才能描画出你心尖上的那一阵剧痛和你面前的那一霎惊惶!
When true emotions aroused by a person, an event or a scene come upon you like a pin pricking your heart or an angry tide surging threateningly before you, all you can do is use the most vivid and succinct language to describe the severe pain in your heart or the momentary feeling of panic caused by the angry tide.
要点:
1,“袭来”说白了就是“攻击,侵袭,席卷”,strike, come, invade等词在特定语境下均可表示此意,同志们可根据不同语境选择不同的单词,如:
当灾难袭来,建筑常常是大面积损毁。
when a disaster strikes, the damage is often widespread.
当声誉和金钱向他袭来,报纸的标题并没有对他产生影响。
Newspaper headlines did not affect him as offers of fame and large sums of money came.

2,“你心尖上”即“你的内心深处”或“你的心头”,译为your heart 即可,the tip of your heart就不必了~
3,“一霎惊慌”意即“片刻的惊慌”译为the momentary feeling of panic
4,caused by the angry tide起了补充说明的作用

综述:本段根据行文需要,有两处被动语态,童鞋们稍微注意下~


我们伟大的祖国,是有写短文的文学传统的。那部包括上下数千年的《古文观止》,“上起东周,下迄明末,共选辑文章220篇”有几篇是长的?如杜牧的《阿房宫赋》,韩愈的《祭十二郎文》等等,哪一篇不是短而充满了真情实感?今人的巴金的《随感录》,不也是一个实例吗?
Our great motherland is known for its literary tradition of short essays. Do you find anything unduly long in A Treasury of Best Ancient Chinese Prose with its 220 essays selected from a period of several thousand years in ancient China from the Eastern Zhou Dynasty down until the end of the Ming Dynasty? Aren’t the essays in it, like Du Mu’s Rhapsody on Epang Palace and Han Yu’s An Elegiac Address to My Nephew Shi’erlang, all short and yet full of true feelings? Isn’t A Collection of Random Thoughts by Ba Jin, our contemporary, another like example of pithy writing?
要点:
1,“我们伟大的祖国,是有写短文的文学传统的”译为Our great motherland is known for its literary tradition of short essays.此处也可以译为Our great motherland has a literary tradition of short essays,但不如前者灵活~
2,“…有几篇是长的?”译为Do you find anything unduely long ,其中unduely 是添加成分,作“不适当地,过分地”解,原文虽然没有明说,但字里行间都透露了这个意思~
3,“《祭十二郎文》”译为An elegiac Address to My Nephew Shi’erlang,其中,My Nephew解释了“十二郎”的身份,属释义性翻译,意在帮助读者理解,之前说过,这种翻译手法在翻译有关中国传统文化的材料时尤为多见。
4,“…不也是一个实例吗?”这又是一个反问句,译为一般疑问句(否定词开头),之前在《我坐了木船》中我也着重介绍过反问句的译法,比如“轮船飞机就不危险吗?”译为is it less dangerous to travel by steamer or aircraft?(is it less=isn’t it)~
5,“…不也是一个实例吗?”译为Isn’t …another like example of pithy writing?其中,Like 和pithy writing都是添加成分,原文虽然没有明说,但是有这个意思哦~

综述:本段需注意释义性翻译,以及反问句的译法


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